61.) 31st, July, 1896, Port Antonio, Family Affairs

My game is lacking. In May I was saying to myself "Don't panic!". In July the numbers havn't changed much and now i'm saying "Start worrying!"

Here´re my numbers through 21/7/1896:

There is nothing wrong with me, that's what I like to think. No injuries, no soreness on my part. It must be that I`m missing someone, my people, Anne-Mary and little Jacob! I never thought that I'd be missing anything while playing ball. But that was then. I'm 7 months away from home, maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, buying the house in Montego Bay last year. It's a two and half hour train ride from here, but to sell the house and buy one here? The home prices here are upper-class level easy, no chance for a minimun-salary ballplayer. Anne-Mary and I knew that in my profession you don't come home for supper at six each day. A travelling ballplayer, that's what I am. We both knew that when we married, but between knowing and únderstanding is the night. And I'm in the dark right now. Hitting the ball with a stick in the dark is a tough thing to do.

My brother-in-law Monty Wallace also had a tough start with his new team, those damn Reds. Blown saves a ERA with a 5 in front and still he got a mid-season contract extension. Good for him and Margret and Sammy-Boy. They're living in Liberty City now, God bless them.

Anne-Mary's brother Marc finished school this summer and entered the league draft, but found no taker. He's a good boy and a good catcher, problem is there're a lot of good, young ballplayers in this country and Marc might be half a step behind some. I tried to make that clear to him before the draft, while trying not to sound discouraging. Don't know, if he understood. He sometimes thinks that I, as a senior-league-ballplayer, could easily land a job for him on some Bush League team. But that's not the case. They're not asking of my opinions on young ballplayers and additionally I don't believe in nespotism, you never know where it's going to end once you start it. It's a poison on a team. I only told my coaches both in May Pen and Port Antonio to take a look on some Claremont high school team's games, if they could work it into their schedule. Anyway he still may catch on somewhere.